The New Infowars Needs Lindsey Turner.
She survived 15 years as a visual journalist for newspapers before deciding to continue being poor forever by working at nonprofits and making satirical political art.
Who is this Lindsey Turner I keep hearing about?
She is a writer, designer, artist, and communications professional in Nashville. Lindsey recently had a break with reality when she realized nothing means anything, there is no justice, and we all are literally in Hell. A few days later she read that The Onion bought Infowars and she realized she was wrong: Life does have meaning and The Onion’s conquest of Infowars is obviously it.
Lindsey would bring that good shit
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She makes satirical political art for funsies
Lindsey is a full-time nonprofit communications manager, but in her “spare” time, she runs Eyedot Creative, where she makes satirical and politically charged art and merch that vibes with our unbelievably stupid zeitgeist. Last year she successfully Kickstarted an adult coloring and activity book all about the conservative clowns ruining our country! For the 2024 election she made a whole collection of satirical political yard signs that people all over her community bought to put out. Unfortunately but predictably, America would rather see a sex offender in adult diapers fellating microphones shaped like Vladimir Putin’s ding dong for the next 10 years than elect a Black woman.
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She's extremely online, but like in a healthy way
Lindsey remembers a time before all she did was stare into the glowing rectangles and commune with the pixel gods in their strange language, referred to as “Shitposting.” But she knows there is no going back to that time. The pixel gods require sacrifice after sacrifice or else they will not allow a single drop of dopamine to trickle out of her withered hypothalamus. She understands she has been chosen as a soldier in the information war against the literal dumbest people anyone has ever met. She was raised by them, after all. So to please the gods, Lindsey makes sacrifices and offerings in digital publishing, social media, website content management, e-commerce management, and more. She is fluent in Gen Alpha slang.
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She survived a career in newspaper journalism
In college Lindsey had one mean English professor so she decided to jettison her dreams of being a writer to become a newspaper journalist. She started out on the copy/design desk of the Memphis daily paper laying out pages and writing headlines. A few years later she moved to Nashville and became creative director of a large design hub where she led 100+ designers and editors who produced more than 18 daily newspapers across the Southeast. In 2017 the hub was shuttered and Lindsey exited the journalism industry, which has since continued its rapid enshittification, which is directly linked to our current national moment of bedshitting. There is one bright spot, though: Lindsey’s mean English professor is now dead. Suck it, Dr. Kleinman!
What exactly does Lindsey do?
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Graphic design
She’s a stylistic chameleon with nearly two decades of experience designing publications and collateral for print and digital platforms, plus a cool new secret third type of platform you’ve never even heard of, loser!
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Writing and Editing
Unlike most designers, who are more or less illiterate, Lindsey enjoys reading and writing: Personal essays, news features, greeting card slogans, marketing emails, ransom notes, underpass graffiti, etc.
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Creative Direction
Lindsey combines her deep love for visual storytelling with her penchant for judging other people’s creative decision-making to help her guide individuals, organizations, and campaigns to suck less.
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Social Media
Although she believes social media is destroying humanity, Lindsey is a power user of many social apps, and has built organic and engaged followings for multiple brands while hating every single moment.
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Content Creation
Lindsey knows the modern media landscape is a gaping maw hungry for content, content, content! Pictures, text, graphics, videos, whatever! Just feed it and make the screaming stop!
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Digital Marketing
Lindsey has years of experience successfully begging for attention on the internet through socially acceptable practices including smart email audience segmenting and strategic list hygiene.
Here are some dumb things Lindsey Made for fun
Now for the clincher
It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
